about me
Twenty.
UWA.
Beachbum.
Kooky & sometimes OCD-ish.
Oh yes, greatest ambition is to be a mom.


I love...
God. Family. 'Corner corner'.
Beach Volleyball.
Movies under the stars.
California Maki.
Beansprouts.
Corona and Lime.
Hokey-pokey flavoured ice cream.
Daisies.


Current Music
"Tear Down the Walls"


wish list
iPod Classic.
the winds to stop and the weather to turn warm!


blow a kiss




reaching out
{♥} weiqin
{♥} joanne-jojo
{♥} jess
{♥} huijeen
{♥} yongjun
{♥} eric
{♥} linhong
{♥} JP
{♥} Joyce aka. Laopo

{♥} The Dimsum Palace
{♥}Zen aka. Lady Boss
{♥}Jade aka.hot ang mo
{♥} Boon
{♥}Cherell + Rachel
{♥}Deb Chia
{♥}Michelle
{♥}Mindy
{♥}Racho
{♥}Zihui aka. the economist

{♥} Cell

{♥} Chuan Kai
{♥} Derek
{♥} Dominic
{♥} Yanyi

{♥} Becky
{♥} Boon Kian


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credits
designer: SPLASH!
base code: DancingSheep


sunshine doused
Sunday, September 25, 2005

What a huge joke...

I remember saying, at the beginning of the week, that this week was most probably the happiest week for me this year. Turns out, this happy week has to end on the most unpleasant note. Wait. A week begins on a Sunday. So, today is a new week!! Ah well, after having the happiest week...I have to say.. THIS WEEK IS PROBABLY THE WORST WEEK OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!

For a blissful week, I thought I was the most fortunate girl ever to breathe on the face of the Earth. It seemed that I had everything going extremely well for me. I had the support of my family, the company of good friends, relatively good results(for now, I'm going to get 8/below for the 'O'), attention and love... I was on cloud nine for that 1 week, 7 days, everyday for 24 hours..every single minute.

I guess someone decided I had my share of happiness. Probably thought I had more than enough of it and decided to take it away.

And so, the happy week came crashing down on me. Like a plane out of control, it dove into the deep blue and sank to the seabed 189 miles below sea level. Never to rise again to let the sunshine flow over its smooth metallic body. Remained cold and dead, under the deep blue.

To that person who wiped out the light of my life,
Please know that nothing else was affecting me until you tried to intervene. You are the only person/thing that is upsetting me. Don't talk about me not being able to focus on the most important thing. Don't tell me I don't know what's best for me. Because I know. I know what I want and, mark my words, I will work for it and achieve it.

I was a blardy fool to think that by telling you about what's going on with my life, I'll have your support and trust. I thought I was playing my part of being a filial one...and I seriously thought you got my point. To tell you the truth, my thinking, of you being supportive, was a huge part of why I was happy. How naive and gullible can I get?

In the end, I was just living in a fairy tale that will never come true, any time soon. For 1 happy week, I was living a fairy tale.

I don't want to be feeling so negative towards you. In fact..please also know that you are the only person whom i can both love and detest at the same time. But most of the time, when my happiness is affected, you are the main cause. That's something you'll have to think about. seriously, I can mope for days and days because of you. Nothing else will affect me the way you are now.

I just want to get away from you!Do you know you are hurting me bad?So bad that even LP could not numb me. My usual sleep-and-feel-better secret formula did nothing to soothe me. Are you glad now that you know you have made my life so utterly miserable?!

Oh, and for the record, he DOES NOT affect me one bit. In fact, I believe, he's even more supportive and understanding than you! He's the one who's giving me some fucking space to breathe. Not forcing me to do something I'll definately regret. Neither is he sapping me of my happiness and future like you are. At least we have an understanding. You and I, we cant see eye to eye. I thought we had one too, but you had to spoil it all.

I'm too tired to try to squeeze out any optimism out of this. I've tried and I've fail. Too tired to explain my point and make you see.

For the last time, I know what I'm doing and I will do well. I will, if you will just stop doing all these stuff which just make me miserable. I plead you. Scatch that. It's really up up to you if you want to destroy me or not.

I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway

Just like before

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And i'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
And i'm about to break

I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seens to go away
Over ad over again

You try to take the best of me
GO AWAY!
Shut up when I'm talking to you



9:09:00 PM