The song has been playing, like a broken record, over and over again in my head the past two days. And I certainly feel the part. It's almost like I'm going insane here.. Spending my days at home, getting so pasty I could literally glow/look like a dead corpse. I have all these energy which can't be dispersed anywhere else but my little pot of thoughts. And it's just bursting through the seams right now.

I know..I could work, I could exercise (my butterfly arms are so fine right now), I could start my scrapbook..I could always start cooking like I always wanted to. But it's like my body just don't want to get active! I feel sick almost everyday..All the negative energy just combing through whatever positivity there is and then picking them out and flinging them away like garden gnomes.

I'm in a rut, yes I am.

Disconnected from everthing and keeping everything inside... It's been a really long time since I felt like that. And being too overwhelmed to even think about how I should go about acting like my normal self, not so much on the outside, but inside I feel so blank.

It's freaking 5 am in the morning and I can't get to sleep..E-trial starts in 5 more hours and man, I'm stuck. Should I stay up til then or sleep now and then interrupt my sleep?

Or, I could stay up and wait for the beautiful dawn and take pictures like this!


Portrait..


...Landscape..


...and without the twilight effect..

See, I was lying in bed last morning, thinking that I should really get some sleep, then my room started to brighten. I look out my window and was so amazed with the beauty of the dawn. Tried to take some pictures while I was lying down, but none was satisfactory, as I was using my phone. I thought, what the heck, and whipped out my cam, headed outside and began snapping.

Just wish the photos captured more of the magnificent contrasting hues, though. They sort of look better on my camera

As they say, your eyes are the best cameras in the entire world.

Hate that I'm feeling all emo, but yes, I shall continue to stone my way through.


Uh Huh..you heard me right. Baby mama is going to be a hot way to address a lot of women very soon. Why?? Because of what PM Lee promised during his national day rally's speech!

And my ears certainly perked up this year.

He stated a very amusing, and if you think about it, it becomes quite ridiculous, fact. There are over 6 million cellphones in Singapore, a population of less that four and a half mill. Do the math and you'll find that there are more mobiles per couple than offspring per couple!

Why do you need so many mobiles for? Maybe for those big shots..

Here are some of the fantastic benefits for soon-to-be-baby-mamas..

1. $4K bonus for 1st AND 2nd child

*for 5th child can be provided up to $18K in child development funds!

2. $4K child tax relief (though I'm not quite sure what this means..it still sounds awesome)

3. $600 INFANT-care subsidy
$400 CHILD-care subsidy

4. SIXTEEN WEEKS (4 MONTHS) OF MATERNITY LEAVE

5. 7 days of unpaid leave (if child is under 2) PER PARENT
6 days of unpaid leave (if child is under 7)

*though I quite agree with what some parents are displease about in the forum..a child above the age of 7 is still a child, and would still need the attention and care of a parent when ill. Oh wells, then parents just take day off lor..I mean have to give and take.

6. $21m to enhance the standards of teachers (in all levels of education)

This would mean less children per teacher..and more attention will be given to the kids. I totally am for this. Cause I don't buy all that teach less, learn more *Sugar Honey Ice Tea*, it is not working at any aspect at all! So if they can imply this smoothly, it'd be a step at improving Singapore's education system.

Excited, excited!!

It might just be that little bit strange that I'm all hyped up about this issue, but there are several reasons kay.. (not just cause I keep dreaming about having a big family) And mommy's right, despite all these benefits, raising a child in singapore will not be an easy feat. Like this report (not so long ago) which estimated that one would need about $4 million to raise a child. Eh, did I get that right?? The figure seems absurb. Maybe it was one mill. Anyhow, these implements will deffo help in the long run if proven successful.

Speaking of Babymama..is the film out?? I want to watch.

This 2 weeks, I feel so alieniated from the world. I chose, instead, to live in the wonderful world of Olympics. I literally breathe , eat, sleep, shit olympics. And I cannot wait for the Men's Indoor Volleyball Finals! Brasil vs US of A!! Brasil all the way! Don't let the red white and blues snatch another gold medal in the vball arena! Meh, both men's and women's beach volleyball gold went to usa..

Right then, that's for another post.

P.S. JOanne! Your post brought tears to me eye!! Nay, not that bad la, but I miss you too (even though I hate saying it..) See you sunday~Honoured to be your source of security (though I have to ask..really? unspoken strength?)


Right, as the month of August floods in and the fluctuating weather makes it so difficult to make plans, I came up with this idea to note down all the men (celebrities, that is) that have impacted and influenced me, so far, one way or another.

Yup, that's what spending almost every waking hour on the couch and watching too much television, that my back is at the risk of fusing into my couch and my eyeballs are now only able to look in only one direction and rotating them is a huge challenge, has done to my brain. Or rather, topics to be blogged about.

The characters listed have influenced me chronologically. Meaning to say that it is based on since I was a tod to what I am now.

Here..

Barney (aka the Purple Dinosaur)


Barney is a dinosaur of our imagination~

I loved Barney! I especially loved the outdoor setting, because when I was little, I always wanted to have my own tree house where I could have my own adventures, often conjured up from my stirring pot of exaggerated imagination.

I remember watching it everyday at 6pm, when I was a wee babe, at my granny's house and we'd sing along to the songs. It was so much fun! Plus all the actions and stuff.. I will have you know that my granny knew next to nothing when it comes to english, but she some how sing-songed her way through just to make me happy.

Whenever she pats me to sleep, she'd sing that I-love-you-you-love-me song from Barney as a lulluby, if I couldn't fall asleep to the usual 'little pig' song. Not trying to make this sound absurb, but Barney, amongst plenty of other things, reminds me of my beloved granny and that's why he is my first leading man. (not about to contest his sexual orientation, just cause he's purple)


Batman (aka Bruce Wayne)


Yes, the animated version. Not Christian Bale.

When I grew older and understood more, I begin watching Batman-the series, everyday as well. And it really is my all-time favourite superhero. Sure, he ain't got the powers etched into his DNA, but he has the finances to make it happen! Also, his gadgets are so totally awesome-ly cool! His Batmobile and how he always slides down to control it at hyperspeed. And how he shoots that thing that he shoots, so that he can fling himself out of reach of his villians. Damn cool. As a kid, I was awed by all that razzle dazzle.

Until now, I still think he's way cool.


Justin Randall Timberlake


During my teenage years..he was the first male celebrity to make me tear! Literally, when *NSYNC appeared on my tv screen, I cried! Yes, was a bit crazed..

Anyway, I took notice of him primarily due to Britney (I would really want to write about how britney influenced my life but seeing that this is leading MEN...and how I can go on and on talking about her..that would have to be put in a seperate post), but I got into his music really really soon.
Absolutely adore his cheek and slick dance moves. Most of all, still rooting for a possible reconcilation with Britney (MOVE OVER JESSICA BIEL!)


They have too much history to just let it all go..Pardon my wishful thinking..
Man, this guy has a accompanied me through so much, espec my teenage years..


..Songs like 'Gone', 'God must have spent a little more time on you', 'I drive myself crazy', 'Pop'..A whole lot more when he still had that afro to..


..When he started his first album. I had this poster stuck on my wall for a full 5 years before I had to move. He has proven himself worthy and will definately be a huge part of the twenties classics.


Sidetrack..I was appalled at the amount of tats he had when I saw this pic. But I soon realised this was just make-up for his role in 'Alpha Dog'.

Right, this man right here, celebrated and weeped with me for a large part of my formative years. Much like the next guy, who belong in to a band (THE band) that will always have a special place in my heart.


Kevin Scott Richardson


Whenever I swoon over Kevin, everyone will go, "Kevin who?" Yes, he might not be as famous as the lil ones, Nick Carter and Brian..but I'm absolutely drawn in by his manly bass voice. Funny thing is, everytime I listen to BSB (and from then on to any other bands), I take note of the bass more than anything else, like the melody. Because it's Kevin!

Just his look oozes so much macho-ness, I could faint.



Actually stared liking them later than *NSYNC (I know right! Who can compare to BSB?!) when I bought their world tour VCD way back when I was about P6? And Kevin is just the type of guy who'd make me go weak in the knees..tall, dark, muscle-ly, mature (my closest friends would choose the word old instead)..and when they start harmonising..woah okay!

Did I mention, his stubble works well for me too. Yup, so you can expect the next few men to have about the same characteristics.


Dao Ming Shi

He may not be all stubbly, but this pretty boy makes me go gah gah..even now. Well, at least I know camy agrees with me.


There..so hot even with that crazy hair. Every single time he dove in to save Shan Cai, and so especially cute when he flashes that mega-watt grin. Like the shot above was right before he did a jig after realising Shan Cai actually like him despite acting all hostile.

I don't suppose this teenage/boy crazy phase will run out of my system when it comes to Dao Ming Shi. Ever.

And that's how much this proud, immature and chauvinistic character has impacted me.




William Brad Pitt

Can you imagine if he had not decided to use his middle name, but his first instead? Will Pitt...or worse, Bill Pitt! Not much of a ring to it and it doesn't exactly scream sex appeal. Not, with Brad, one can say it with a seductive drawl, or a come-get-me purr.

Anyhow, where do I start with such a legend? An amazing actor with quite diversed roles.
Food-loving, tech-savvy, suave pro thief?


Checked.

Sexy, long-haired, blood obsessed vampire?


Checked.

Crazed psychopath, who has no sense of black or white, right and wrong, and completely bent on terrorising the lives of civilians?


Checked.


And checked. (I feel that this picture depicts the character more..)

Abosolutely adorable and charming angel of death?


Checked.

Mythical hero who conquer women with his hot-bod and know-it-all attitude, like he conquer empires without so much as blinking an eye?


Checked.

Oscar worthy performance, shining through despite not being the main star of the piece?


Checked!

I was so happy when I got to know babyjeen more and discovered that she has the same 'passion' in him as I do! I still remember that december when we hike up to Genting and on our way we spotted this humongous billboard with Brad advertising for Tag Heuer. To say the least, we went nuts. Now that she's building up on her Brad shrine, all the more reason for me to bond with her.

Of course I don't have to mention all the good works and efforts he has been putting into the reconstruction of New Orleans and the goodness he has been raining down on the most unfortunate parts of the worlds with his partner, Jolie. Really commendable efforts and setting a good example for all the people who admire him.

On another note, he has decided not to strip down in future films as he does not want his children to grow up see their daddy's goods so often. Meh, that's just bad news.

Again, stubbles and his raffish looks, puts a stamp on pretty much how my man should look. Heh..



Elvis Aaron Presley (aka The King)

No contesting of his rightful title. Absolutely and thoroughly worthy of it!

How did I get to know of him and his music...I think it was since 'Can't Help Falling In Love' from 'Lilo and Stitch'. I know, I know, what a way to get to know about the king. But it had me buying his albums. And this I'm not exaggerating, I love every single one of his songs!



Dying relatively young, he sort of solidified his status even more. Anyway, his voice is my lulluby every night (besides BSB). He's perfect as far as I'm concerned, even though he's not stubbly and all.


Mutton-chops, no?


Seth Cohen


I love this picture with him cradling Captain Oates! Such an excellent way of convying his role

Where do I even begin with the manboy? It all begins with the series, The O.C., naturally.

Anyways, he is so endearing! Adam Brody, whether intentionally or not, portrayed him so well as a meek, indie-music, comic crazed geek who has an insatiable crush on his future wife, Summer Roberts, since the 5th grade! That's something, rolling all that into a character.


Babyjeen got me hyperventilating when she stuck this on my birthday card last year.

The comedy he provides, plus the entire development of his realtionship with summer, not forgetting the really good mix of indie music and remixed classics, made this teen soap my all-time fave. Since owning all 4 seasons, I've been re-watching eps after eps and I never get sick of it! (except maybe that whiny Oliver-phase in season 1)


Yes, stubbles too!


John Christopher Depp ll (aka Johnny Depp)


This was later on during my JC years.

Obsession is a word used only on Jade, when it comes to Johnny Depp. She calls herself Mrs Johnny Depp. And to prove it all, she whips out his driver's liscence, no kidding.

But yup, thanks to dear Jadey, I was sucked into a similar pattern for a while. It was nothing less than swooning at his pictures and experiencing breathing difficulties whenever he appears on my tv screen, whether on film or interviews.

The choices his made, and continue making, throughout his acting career really makes one difficult to ignore him, especially for a movie-junkie like me. Captain Jack Sparrow (of course, who can forget the effeminate loser of a pirate, who turns out to be a hero, in 'POTC'), Willy Wonka, Edward Scissorhands, Mort Rainey (in 'Secret Window', a picture I positively detest), Roux ('Chocolat'), Ichabod Crane ('Sleepy Hollow' I love this film and all its gore!), Victor Van Dort (until now I still have no idea how he tweeked his voice in 'Corpse Bride') and Benjamin Barker aka Sweeney Todd..excellent performance there.



Also, I love how he dresses himself so weirdly and sometimes even ugly, to get the media and people to notice his talents rather than his looks.

If babyjeen is building her brad shrine, I'm going to start on my Johnny shrine, because I adore his films.

Stubbles? Yes..


In fact, for Johnny, clean shaven works too!


Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Man, this guy is something else. Only watch 3 of his films and I'm a fan.
'Bend it like Beckham'..okay, rather cute coach with an Irish accent which I dig more than an English one.
'Match Point', wonderfully mad and wrong. That's all I can say. He was insane in this and so scary I sworn off men.
'Escape from Huang Shi'..


...damn, this movie had me going off like a faulty tap and an exploded archive of thoughts. Right, the waterworks weren't as bad as 'Million Dollar Baby' or 'Passion of Christ', but still rather plentiful. It got me thinking real hard, probably due to my own experiences and my future. Meh..


Besides, he has a great body, which he worked really hard for, so as not to be constantly typecast as a scrawny kiddish and maybe sometimes mentally unsound role..


..maybe cause of his piercing stare..


What's more, he acted as Elvis in the movie and TV series! Somebody I'm starting to admire honouring someone I truly truly adore. Need I say more about how perfect this match is? Joanne told me 'August Rush' is a must-watch..so I've to get my hands on the DVD soon!


Jared Joseph Leto


You'd never ever guessed by looking at this angel-faced boy is actually the frontman of '30 seconds to Mars'. At least I got a shock when I watched a platinum blond being trashed by Brad in 'Fight Club'. I went, "Hmm, that guy look sort of familiar, but I just can't put my finger on it.." I thought it was Leto, but dismissed it almost immediately because he looked so adorable and young, and clean..nothing like this..


I think I like this look better.

Right, '30 Seconds to Mars' isn't the type of music I usually listen to..but then again, my taste in music is pretty spread out..and I love all kinds of music, except maybe techno. Not sure if it's music or noise..Still, when I watched 'A Beautiful Lie' 's video, I just got drawn in and that led me to implore into their world.

Of course it helped that I think Leto is too cute to ignore.

So yes..These are my leading men who had accompanied me and have shaped my concept of entertainment for the first (almost) quarter of my life.