about me
Twenty.
UWA.
Beachbum.
Kooky & sometimes OCD-ish.
Oh yes, greatest ambition is to be a mom.


I love...
God. Family. 'Corner corner'.
Beach Volleyball.
Movies under the stars.
California Maki.
Beansprouts.
Corona and Lime.
Hokey-pokey flavoured ice cream.
Daisies.


Current Music
"Tear Down the Walls"


wish list
iPod Classic.
the winds to stop and the weather to turn warm!


blow a kiss




reaching out
{♥} weiqin
{♥} joanne-jojo
{♥} jess
{♥} huijeen
{♥} yongjun
{♥} eric
{♥} linhong
{♥} JP
{♥} Joyce aka. Laopo

{♥} The Dimsum Palace
{♥}Zen aka. Lady Boss
{♥}Jade aka.hot ang mo
{♥} Boon
{♥}Cherell + Rachel
{♥}Deb Chia
{♥}Michelle
{♥}Mindy
{♥}Racho
{♥}Zihui aka. the economist

{♥} Cell

{♥} Chuan Kai
{♥} Derek
{♥} Dominic
{♥} Yanyi

{♥} Becky
{♥} Boon Kian


archive
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credits
designer: SPLASH!
base code: DancingSheep


hypocrisy
Saturday, April 01, 2006

Hypocrisy

noun- The act of pretending to have a character or beliefs, principles, and so on, that you do not possess.

or

When someone pretends to be a good person, or to believe in something they do not really believe in.

From the thesaurus:
pretense, deceit, dissembling, fakery, feigning, pharisaism, sanctimony, cant, dissimulation...

How I long for openess, candor, truth, directness, forthrightness, honesty and frankness.

I seriously hate what I've become. A complete hypocrite. In every aspect...I hate the way I preach about being open to one another so as not to build up any misunderstandings. How I used to tell others to trust and to be honest no matter the circumstances. To kill the problem at its roots so that the same disagreement will never reoccur. I hate all that..Because I don't do as I say.

What is the use of believing in all that when I can't even tell the truth outright? What's the use when I'm too proud to admit I'm wrong or jealous..or feeling upset..Why can't I let people see my vulnerability?

A perfect example?

Not fighting for my rights or not making an effort to clear an argument. Like I would just leave things as they are because I'm too tired or simply too damn spoiled and stubborn to do so.

Another could be me getting hitched to a hardcore smoker/drug addict/acoholic(I am one too..but anyway...)/motorcyclist/anything that I totally hate.. Or worse..My getting pregnant at this time of my life. Hmm..it would be interesting, wouldn't it?

At least in the past, I don't believe in all this..so I can't possibly feel guilty about what I'm not doing. Now, everytime I let something that's bothering me just slip pass, thinking that it's nothing, I feel terrible.

Oh gosh.

I don't want to grow into this horrible unfeeling being who don't even know how to express my own emotions! And I don't want to sulk my day away.

I don't know where to begin my quest for honesty and self-truth..It's like a cycle you know? And I just find the point where I can get out of it and break the habit. Oh wells, til I find it, I guess I'm just going to keep cycling..

Who am I to be complaining about stuff? I mean..there are people suffering from poverty and the consequences of development..overcrowding and wadevs. They don't even have a shelter and live in a dumpster for goodness' sake! And me, being so privileged and self-sufficient is taking everything for granted! Is this what happens when one have nothing to worry about and HAVE to find something to busy himself/herself with..ie...stupid stuff such as analysing their own behavior and thinking.

Oh this is so dumb.

Blah.

So anyway..besides the part of me being so totally fake the entire week, I'll be going over to Jojo's for a stay over! And Jess and Jojo are going to be cooking dinner!! Goody goody!! Loads of girly talk and sorts later...!! Can't wait. Too bad Qin can't join us..stupid orientation at this time of the year. It's april already!

O.o I hope there's mahjong later! If not movies are great too!!

Lame stuff:

Qn: Which one is lower? A or C?

Ans: Will be revealed...After the break. (ryan seacrest style)

10:27:00 AM