about me
Twenty.
UWA.
Beachbum.
Kooky & sometimes OCD-ish.
Oh yes, greatest ambition is to be a mom.


I love...
God. Family. 'Corner corner'.
Beach Volleyball.
Movies under the stars.
California Maki.
Beansprouts.
Corona and Lime.
Hokey-pokey flavoured ice cream.
Daisies.


Current Music
"Tear Down the Walls"


wish list
iPod Classic.
the winds to stop and the weather to turn warm!


blow a kiss




reaching out
{♥} weiqin
{♥} joanne-jojo
{♥} jess
{♥} huijeen
{♥} yongjun
{♥} eric
{♥} linhong
{♥} JP
{♥} Joyce aka. Laopo

{♥} The Dimsum Palace
{♥}Zen aka. Lady Boss
{♥}Jade aka.hot ang mo
{♥} Boon
{♥}Cherell + Rachel
{♥}Deb Chia
{♥}Michelle
{♥}Mindy
{♥}Racho
{♥}Zihui aka. the economist

{♥} Cell

{♥} Chuan Kai
{♥} Derek
{♥} Dominic
{♥} Yanyi

{♥} Becky
{♥} Boon Kian


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credits
designer: SPLASH!
base code: DancingSheep


Sunday, April 23, 2006

Aiya. I just read your entry and you made me so depressed I'm going to fail my chem test tomorrow.

ANYWAY I just wanted to say, it's alright really. I don't mind him anymore. Or at least not as much as I used to because... Because... I have no idea why!! No la. Coz he makes you happy at least and seeing him just makes you happy. Which in turn makes me happy too la. Coz I don't want you to be this walking facade looking all cheery on the outside but actually being depressed on the inside. But we do talk about him now what. When we actually talk la, which isn't very often. So it's better right? I mean, you can share it with me you know. I'm not going to snap or whatever, and I don't know why but somewhere along the way I've changed I guess. It's stupid and childish to think that I lost to him because it's a different type of closeness. Yeah I finally get what you mean.. It's just different and no way do I want it to be the same. Now when I think about it it's just normal lor. I've grown up. Unfortunately I still love swinging and acting stupid which isn't very good. So I shall stop that too.

Yeah I think our friendship isn't the same too. Maybe it's the whole sec1 to 2 thing happening again huh. Only this time we'll never get the chance to be in the same class. And you know what? I just want to apologize so badly about everything I did to you. Like taking advantage of you and suaning you and making you have low self-esteem. I totally think it's all my fault, and I'm just so sorry and guess what I'm crying as I'm typing this. And yeah you did eventually learn how to ride a bike what... IN HALF AN HOUR. Which is more than I can say for myself coz I learnt how to ride in a week okay.

And just in case you think otherwise, I think you're the best person on earth. Like literally on earth out of all the 5 billion people. BECAUSE there's only one person who can stand all my suanings and just stand by neutrally and take whatever I throw at her and that's you. I don't know why didn't I realise sooner and appreciate you more but now when I finally read your entry... it came as a big shock la, to put it mildly. It's only just when I started to realise how different you are from everyone else and you know what? Attached or not attached, same class or not, and whether our friendship is in a rut or not, there will never be anyone that can replace you. No one else will be able to stand my nonsense like you do or suffer to make me feel better. Who in the world can be so selfless?

You're not slow you're not retarded you're not stupid you're not a failure. You're my best friend and guess what? That in itself is a great achievement because I'm irritating, I'm ignorant, I'm competitive and above all I suck big time coz I just can't do anything right okay. I can't conduct the band I can't play my cornet well and above all I can't even maintain a good friendship with the only person in the world who cares so much about me. And even though I'm such an asshole you still stuck by me, and you didn't desert me or stop being friends with me. I don't know what I did to deserve such a great best friend but whatever it is I did not do my part as a best friend. So yeah I totally understand if you no longer wanna be friends with me coz I'm such an idiot.

SO YEAH. Whether we have topics to talk about or not, you'll always be my best friend. Not no.1 coz no.1 is relative. But you know, no matter who I meet in the future right, you're probably never never going to be replaced. YEAH. I'm so glad to have met you and spent the best 7 years of my life and counting... I hope it's still counting right. I'll change, really. I'll stop suaning you and start showering you with positive comments. If that's what I have to do to save our friendship I'm alright with you, because if I have to sacrifice anything to continue being best friends with you I would. Because out of everything I have to lose you're one of the things I can't afford to lose.

What will I do without you? Not just in terms of borrowing dvds sleeping bags and getting free dinners. But in terms of emotional support, mentally supporting me and whatever. You're the ONLY friend I have had for the past 4 years who went to each and everyone of my concerts, and bought flowers for me. You're the only one who gives me encouragement telling me I'm good enough to conduct the band even though I'm not. You're the only one who tells me,"Aiya sure can one la" to everything I'm about to attempt. You're the only one who'll listen to me no matter what it is and not diao me at the nonsensical and lame stuff I come up with. AND I'm getting a lot of that in sa now. So yeah, I'm again, Really really sorry for what I've done. Please tell me it's not the end of our friendship okay... AND I'm going to post this, so yeah. Let people know that I'm really really really sorry. (is there like another word for sorry besides regretful and apologetic? this is getting monotonous)

from, Qin.

9:52:00 PM